Our Choices Create our Lives

Yesterday I had the pleasure of speaking at the JCC Rockland in Nyack New York at their first “Women’s Health and Wellness Symposium.” Several hundred women attended the event to hear experts on topics like heart health, anti aging, hypnosis for relaxation, to name just a few. My speech was entitled “Choices”, and was based on the premise that the choices we make in our life ultimately determine our path and thus our health, wealth and happiness. I know that some people feel like life just happens to them and that they are not in control of their destiny. However I am of the belief that we have a tremendous amount of control over lives if we make healthy lifestyle choices, maintain a positive outlook and are open to life’s opportunities. I don’t mean to be too simplistic, of course you can be struck with a disease or lose your job, but when navigating life’s challenges we sometimes need that reminder “that our attitude will often determine the outcome of any given situation”, and that a positive approach will usually help us through any situation.

Another theme of my speech was about using your life for a higher more meaningful purpose and how the choices we make can often have a powerful impact on our communities and on our world.

I closed yesterday with one of my favorite stories that illustrates in a funny way how we are responsible for our own destiny. It gets a good laugh, but it also packs a good lesson; that we are all given the tools to live happy, productive and meaningful lives, but that we must choose to use these tools in order to shape our destiny.

There was this town on the edge of a river. One day there was a great storm and the river flowed over its banks, threatening to wash away all the houses. As the flooding continued, a patrol boat went around to each of the houses to see if anyone needed to be rescued. When the boat got to Sol Klein’s house, the water had already reached the first floor. Sol was upstairs looking out the second floor window. They called to him from the rescue boat: “Come on out! We’ll take you to higher ground!” But Sol Klein said: “No, I’m staying here. It’s O.K. God will take care of me.” So the patrol boat reluctantly moves on to the next house, and leaves Sol behind. Now the storm is still raging, and the water is still rising. Pretty soon it’s flooded the second floor of Sol’s house and he’s climbed up on to the roof. A patrol helicopter flies overhead and calls down to him: “You’ve got to get out of there! We’ll throw you a rope and you can climb up! Its your only chance!” But Sol says, “No! Go Away! I told you God will take care of me!” In a few minutes the river completely washes away Sol’s house and he drowns. When he gets up to Heaven he says, “God, I don’t understand. I had faith in you. How could you let me drown?” And God says, “Sol. Sol. I sent you a boat and I sent you a helicopter. What more did you want me to do?”

My Day at QVC

I just got back from a whirlwind 24 hour trip to QVC’s studios in West Chester PA not far from Philadelphia. I was there to sell the child safety device that my husband and I invented called KinderKord. Visitors to the sprawling campus of QVC usually stay at the nearby Sheraton Hotel. I’ve actually been on QVC a few times before so I was somewhat familiar with the routine, I even knew about the nearby Outback restaurant where you must test your fortitude against having the bloomin’ onion prior to your QVC camera appearance. When checking in, with a giggle I asked for whatever room Joan Rivers usually stays in when she comes to sells her wares – and they knew exactly what I meant!

The morning was reminiscent of my days at Good Morning America; up before dawn for hair and make-up for an early morning show with “Mary Beth Roe” a long time popular QVC host. As a mother of four she was perfect to help me sell KinderKords which for those of you who don’t know, are worn like watches but have retractable cords which connect parents to their children. Finally a way to stay connected to your child without using a leash, which just didn’t sit right with my husband and me. And as the saying goes, necessity is the mother of invention, and with two little sets of twins, we decided we better figure out “a better way”.

Though I had agreed to co-host with Mary Beth for the entire hour, I had only 8 minutes of real selling time – so the pressure was on! QVC had asked us to ship them 3,000 KinderKords for this sales event and we had no idea what to expect. My husband Jeff was in the green room where he watched two screens monitoring every call coming in and every order being made. For me the eight minutes selling on camera flew by in a flash – and the next thing I knew I was back in the car on my way home and writing this blog – oh yeah, we sold out! Yeah!!!!

Come on, really, as inventors, it was truly thrilling to see our efforts come to fruition, and know that 3,000 children are a little safer today.

A Camp Reveille Party on the corner of Peachtree and Peachtree

If you’ve ever been to Atlanta, you are surely aware of the multiple “Peachtree’s” that make navigating the city less than crystal clear! …Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Avenue, Peachtree Place, Old Peachtree, New Peachtree… ask for directions and you’re sure to be told to take Peachtree!

Well we did just fine with our directions last week during our fabulous trip to Atlanta, Georgia where we were holding informational parties about Camp Reveille, the summer camp getaway for women that I created and run every summer. As some may already know, as part of my advocacy and passion for women’s health, I started a summer camp for women a few years ago in Naples Maine called Camp Reveille. I run the 4 day, 3 night program on the grounds of Camp Takajo on Long Lake, one of the children’s summer camps that my husband, Jeff Konigsberg, owns and directs. The wooded grounds are serene, the lake is picturesque, and the camp grounds abound with tennis courts and playing fields for every activity imaginable.

Last week in Atlanta we held two parties at the home of one of our most dedicated campers, Wendy. With the wonderful work and hospitality of Wendy, she and our team invited local women who were interested in finding out more about Camp Reveille to come and mingle, have some cheese and crackers (and delicious brownie bites!), and learn more about the long weekend all-girls getaway. Through her local Atlanta network I met some fabulous women and definitely some wonderful potential campers! I met moms, professionals, teachers, knitters, sisters, and grandmothers. Some of the women are all signed up and have their exercise clothes already packed and some are already writing on my Camp Reveille message board reserving their spot on the sunbathing deck! They all realized that at Reveille there’s something for everyone, and lot’s of choice!

Our parties were really fun and I realized that not only did I myself have the pleasure of meeting a group of wonderful Southern women, but I also caught some networking going on amongst the group! It was a wonderful trip and I can’t wait to have more Reveille parties around the country, it’s such a great way to meet inspiring women and I can’t wait to see them again at camp this summer. We’re going to have a fantastic diverse group of women this year, so make sure to check out the Camp Reveille website to learn all about it and sign up to join in the fun!

A Heart Full of Anger Has No Room for Love

I have always loved quotes and have always collected them as long as I can remember. When I began writing books I sprinkled my favorite quotes all throughout them and I constantly heard from people that they too enjoyed them. After many requests for a copy of “Joan’s Quote List” my book agent said, “I know what your next book should be”. He pitched the idea of a book of heartwarming and inspiring quotes and easily sold “Wake Up Calls”. There are several hundred quotes in the book, but the one that has attracted the most attention is “A heart filled with anger has no room for love.” I first heard this from a woman I had interviewed on Good Morning America who had written a book about what happened to her after her child was kidnapped and murdered. For many years the woman just could not recover from being so heartbroken and angry. She and her husband divorced and she was left bitter and depressed. It finally became evident to her that she needed to let go of her anger, if there was ever to be any room in her heart to love again. I always remembered her words and wrote about her in several of my books.

I recently got an email from a woman in Oregon, Julie, who wrote to tell me that her sister Katherine was dying of AIDS and that her sister’s dying wish was to talk to me. Julie had bought my book “Bend in the Road” and sat day after day reading it to her frail dying sister Katherine. Katherine had lived a very troubled life, sexually abused since 2 years old by their father, who then got her pregnant at age 13. Her sad, powerless violent childhood turned into an adult life consumed with alcoholism, abusive relationships and eventually homelessness and AIDS. As Julie read to Katherine about the power of forgiveness and letting go of your anger and your sad emotions, Katherine made a monumental decision. She told her sister “I must forgive my father for all the abuse and also the man who gave me AIDS.” Katherine was haunted by them and so consumed with anger and desperation, and she wanted some peace in her final dying days. When I read Julie’s letter I immediately picked up the phone and called. Katherine was so weak and frail that she could barely get the strength to talk to me as Julie held the phone to her ear.

Katherine thanked me for calling and told me that she finally felt like she was at peace and that it was because she had forgiven her abusers. She said she was able to do that because of what I had written in my book. Katherine was too weak to spend more than a few minutes on the phone with me, but it was a powerful few minutes for both of us. I was simply happy that I could provide a bit of comfort at this tragic time, and frankly I was blown away that something I had written had made such a huge impact on another human being. Over the next four days, I called to check on Katherine daily even though she was growing weaker and could barely respond to me. I told her “You don’t have to try to talk, I just want you to know that I am thinking about you and praying for you that you are truly at peace and also that you find a kinder gentler happier life when you pass. “I am at peace now and I’m ready to go home” she said to me. And then she added “Forgiving was harder than dying”. What a statement.

Four days after I met Katherine over the phone, she passed away. Her sister Julie thanked me again for making her sister's dying dream come true, and for calling each day. She said “It meant so much to Katherine and to me. “ If only they knew how much it meant to me, and what a profound impact they had made on my life.

An opportunity to touch someone’s life like I was able to touch Katherine’s is truly a gift. It reminds me of another one of my favorite quotes. “Life is the gift that God gives to you. What you do with your life, is your gift to God.”

Why Men Don’t Have Advice Columns

Over the holiday season many of you probably receive your share of “Family Holiday Letters” from friends and relatives recounting their past year. Some of these are more enjoyable than others, and sometimes we read them, sometimes we don’t. However this year I received the funniest holiday letter ever from a friend in Bolder Colorado. A college professor and one of my favorite authors, Brian Luke Seaward wrote a book called “Stand Like Mountain, Flow Like Water” that had a profound impact on how I view and deal with life. This offering from Brian gave me a huge laugh for it so embodies the differences in the way men and women think and listen and react. In its own humorous way it demonstrates how important it is for us to always remember those differences when dealing with the opposite sex.

The sheet of paper folded inside his holiday card was entitled “Christmas Party Staff Meeting Minutes”.

WHY MEN DON’T HAVE ADVICE COLUMNS: WALTER’S ADVICE COLUMN

Dear Walter,

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the card shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help.

When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor’s daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbors’ daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months.

I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was sacked from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won’t go to counseling and I’m afraid I can’t get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila

Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no dirt in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps.

Walter